For those of you new parents out there that panic (like I do) every time your baby cries for extended periods of time and there is seemingly nothing you can do to soothe him/her, fear not! All you have to do is take that wailing child over to Japan and you just may win a contest.
Every year people gather at the Sensoji Temple in Tokyo for the Nakizumo festival. The focus of the event is the "crying sumo" competition where sumo wrestlers hold babies aloft in the contest and try to make them cry. Whichever baby cries first, is the winner. If both babies cry at the same time, the one bawling loudest is declared victor. The babies are persuaded to tears by a sumo judge (as if a 300 pound wrestler wasn't enough), who orders them to "nake, nake" ("cry, cry") as the wrestlers growl and make faces.
"Mommy said she was taking me to the park. She lied!"
The babies are held aloft so that their cries are closer to heaven. During the 400-year-old competition, their parents pray for the good health of their children. The ritual is said to support health and growth in newborns. The winner is the one who screams the loudest.
So don't fret parents, every time your child cries just think about all the health and growth they are bringing. And, you never know, you may have a potential contest winner in your hands. You'll just have to head over to Japan and find out.
Livi had her 2-month doctor visit last week where she had her first round of shots. Three needles were plugged into her chubby thighs, producing a scream that could wake the dead, and hopefully bringing lots of growth and health to her. With a scream like that, we're considering entering next year's competition in Japan. Bring on those sumo dudes!
Livi got her first honorary degree! As the LWL readers know, Livi had some weight issues early on. So to get her back on track we took out our tiger-parenting handbook and dropped the hammer down. No play dates. No cell phone. No online chatting, and definitely no boyfriends. Stay in your room and practice, practice, practice until you get it right! And guess what? It worked.
Padding her resume already. Look out Harvard.
But why settle at just a BS? She's well on her way to her Masters, then PhD of course. Those doctorate hats are just too cool.
I'm looking forward to doing lots of things with Livi over the coming months, years, decades, etc. Can't wait for her first surf, ski, trip to Azerbaijan, million that she makes as a baby model to totally support her loving parents, and so on. But one of the things I'm most looking forward to is going on bike rides with her! How to take an infant who can't walk yet let alone pedal around town you may ask? This is a question that has plagued bike enthusiasts around the globe for centuries. Here's what some much smarter than I have come up with as some possible cycle transport systems.
The Dutch have set the gold standard for all things bike related. Sure, when it comes to footwear they still have a long ways to go (really, shoes made out of wood?), but when you need to tote anything from a few kids to a few kegs nothing beats a Bakfiets - a traditional Dutch cargo cycle.
From mydutchbike.com
They have also come up with a truly revolutionary bike-stroller thing called a Taga. Part Transformer, part tricycle, 100% awesomeness. Just check out what you can do with this thing in a mere 20 seconds:
Too bad they aren't shipping them to the US anymore. May be worth a trip to The Netherlands.
The US knock-off of it is cool, but a far cry from its European counterpart. It's called a Zigo, and it can certainly get you and your little one around town. I like how you have the choice to ditch the stroller and kid and just take off on the bike!
From myzigo.com
In terms of bikes, Oregon (Portland in particular) seems to be the Holland of the US. Lots of creative and innovative models coming out of that region. They do some domestic Bakfiets, but you can also get some crazy triple, even quad bikes! Do they look silly? Indeed, but let's face it, all these bikes do. Don't be the person in front though - you have no idea if those behind you are actually pedaling.
A triple from Co-Motion. Watch out for the wide turns with this thing.
And for a mere $6K this too can be yours!
But right around the corner from us in Emeryville, CA you can get any bike outfitted with an XtraCycle! Purchase one of their stock models, or convert your old beat up bike into a cargo hauler with their conversion kit. May be the most economical way to go. Great for hauling the kid, the spouse, and in this case, the dog too.
This is Big Dummy by Surly (it's the actual name of the bike and does not refer to the dude in the front. He and the lady in back should be wearing helmets. Bad parenting.
And if you live in the mountains, or above the Arctic Circle, or encounter a freak blizzard while out for a ride, fear not! Pop off the wheels of your Chariot trailer and pop on your skis.
"Um, dad, can you ski a little faster? It's getting chilly back here."
So many options! It can get really complicated and confusing. In the end, we may just ditch the bicycle idea, get a moped instead, and go Asian family style.
"Hop on board! We've got room in the front for a few more."
Growing up in the 1980's, when you liked someone the most common sign of affection was to make them a mix tape. This was a compilation of songs that you thought the other person would like, while at the same time delivered a not-so-subtle message.
The cassette tape: c.1935 - 2000
RIP
When I mentioned this little piece of history to Livi, she said that we should bring it back and make a mix tape for mom for her first Mother's Day gift. What a great idea! But seeing as the only cassette player we have is in our car (circa 1996), I wouldn't even know where to buy a cassette tape, and I don't have the duo-cassette boom box anymore, the dream ended rather quickly. But it got me to thinking what songs I would have put on there if we were back in the tape era. Here's a few ideas:
"Mother And Child Reunion" - Paul Simon
"Mama Said Knock You Out" - LL Cool J
"Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys" - Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson
Any song off of Mothers Milk by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Mama Mia" - ABBA
Any song by the Mamas & The Papas
"Bohemian Rhapsody" - Queen (Lyrics: Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia Figaro...)
Any song by Mark MOTHERSbaugh (co-founder of the legendary band Devo)
We've also had our own mom's come through town as of late, and they've had their first experiences of being grandma's (aka: Lola in Tagalog or 할머니 in Korean). They did a great job, and Livi took to them right away.
"I can get used to this."
"Hey, aren't you suppose to spoil me or something?"
We all went out for a nice meal today, and Susan got to have her first bites of raw fish since pregnancy - long overdue. All this, and the Red Sox won one too! Overall it's been a pretty great first Mother's Day.
"I know I cry a lot, but don't take it personally. I think you're the best Mommy in the world!"
First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.
What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short - a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day - And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.
O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.
“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.
Amen.
-An excerpt from Tina Fey's new book -Bossypants, 2011
Here's a piece I started before Livi was born, and finished after she came out (in between feeding and diaper changes). It was posted on a few other blogs:
Here's an all too familiar situation all parents go through. It's late, like around midnight. Kid is fussy and has been screaming non-stop for what seems like hours, but in actuality is probably 10 minutes. You've tried everything to soothe him/her: feeding, burping, changing, swaddling, singing, dancing, threatening to ground them, offering them money, even a little nip of scotch. Nothing is working and you're wondering why on earth you ever had a kid. If only there was a way to quiet them down!
Last night we found the cure that parents (and babies) everywhere have longed for. Behold... Natures Sway!
No this is not something out of Cacoon or some weird laundry bag. This is a bouncey, hammock for babies that hangs from any doorway, and it is pure bliss. Imagine an organic cotton, spring-loaded womb. According to their website: "These type of beds have been used for centuries in many traditional cultures so we believe our baby hammock is an excellent back to nature beginning for the babies of the 21st century." Amen. Bring us back to nature Natures Sway!
Livi and I were the biggest naysayers though, thinking this is just another hippie gimmick for folks who use cloth diapers and wear patchouli. But seeing as we tried almost everything we were willing to give anything a shot. We popped Livi in there and she instantly passed out! And in that split second I was an instant convert, chugging the Kool-Aid... and so was Livi.
Parenting is certainly one wild ride (for the parents out there I know I'm preaching to the choir). It's one of those things that until you're in it, you have no idea about anything. Even when you are in it, you still have no idea about anything. No class, book, You Tube clip, or even Iphone app can prepare you for this. As a rookie dad with a measly one month under my belt, I've had a lot of questions and often times there's either few answers or too many answers, and everybody has an opinion. I've also noticed things that I would never have noticed before, I've learned things that I would never have learned before, and I've certainly done a lot of things that I would certainly have never, ever done before. And I continue to be filled with both confusion and awe. Here's a list of a few of the things I've pondered over the past few weeks:
What is up with all those darn buttons on the baby outfits?! What about using a zipper, or better yet, Velcro! Rarely do I get them all lined up perfectly, but when I do, that is a proud parenting moment indeed.
If formula milk is suppose to represent fake breast milk, do they get it from fake breasts?
How can bouncing up and down vigorously in a chair actually soothe a baby? If that were me, I'd be screaming like crazy, "Get me off this thing! I'm going to hurl!" Well, actually, Livi hurls sometimes too.
What would the world be like if all babies had pants like babies in China? Would the diaper industry just go out of business? Would we spend more on cleaning our streets? Cleaning our homes? Do they make adult versions of these pants?
Would these work in the US? Not so sure...
You ever wonder why all barber shops are named with puns? How many times have you seen shops called "A Cut Above," or "Shear Madness," or "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?" Well, that industry is not alone as I've recently noticed that all things breastfeeding related are also PUNishing us. There is My Brest Friend, and The Hooter Hider. What's next, a breast pump called the Boob Tubes? Hey, that doesn't sound that bad! Any readers out there from the pump industry you're too late. I just copyrighted it.
Well, there's been much to celebrate here at LWL world headquarters. We're closing in on Livi's first month on this planet, and it has been a good one overall. She's been putting on the pounds and at last check she's weighing in at a whopping 8lbs. 9oz! You go girl!
To celebrate her one-month milestone, we took Livi to her first baseball game today. Our beloved Red Sox were in town, and we headed on down to Oakland Coliseum to see 'um take on the A's (who we also love, just not when they are playing the Sox. Sorry team). It was a great game: in and out of the rain, Sox hit 3 homers, Jed Lowrie kept his average above .500, and Carl Crawford even got a hit! In the end, the Sox came away the victors 5-3, winning one for Livi. Or maybe it was Livi that helped them win. Either way, it was a fun adventure for the family. In fact, Livi loved it so much she couldn't keep it in (so we changed her soon thereafter).
"Hey mom, do they sell milk at these games?"
The past month has also seen us visit our local hip-yuppie baby showcase, aka: the farmer's market. Livi couldn't believe all the different types of veggies, flowers, and strollers she saw!
Chard, it does the body good.
Also this month, Livi has discovered a few new dance moves. For example....
This one is called the "I have a question"
She calls this one the "Put 'em up" or the "I have two questions"
The "You can't see me, I can't see you" aka: "The Peek-A-Boo" or the "I can't pick my nose with these things on!"
The ever popular "I'm not impressed" aka: the "Are we there yet" or the "Dad, please don't blog about this later"
Much to celebrate here at LWL headquarters. Seems like the weight gain program that we put Livi on is working! She's now up to a whopping 7lbs. 13oz, surpassing her birth weight of 7lbs. 11oz! Things are looking up in that department, but we're not out of the woods yet. Still trying to figure out the most effective feeding method(s). One thing is for sure, milk does indeed do the body good.
"Mmmmm, so tasty...."
Milk is a miracle fix all apparently. It has not only helped with putting some pounds on Livi, giving her essential nutrients to grow and Thrive (I feel like I need to capitalize that word because of the Kaiser ad campaign), but it has also helped with a number of other things. Livi recently has come down with some blocked tear ducts, a common condition effecting about 20% of all newborns. We saw something funky going on with her eye, so we did like every new parent does and probably shouldn't - we hopped on the internet! In our search through blogs, forums, Wikipedia, and every WebMD-type site imaginable, Susan discovered a person who suggested putting a few drops of milk on the eye. Apparently the nutrients in milk can help open up the plumbing, so to speak. So we gave it a shot.... and it seemed to work!
If there's one thing Livi loves as much as the BoSox it's the UConn Huskies! They are after all the biggest sports team in the small state of Connecticut. Tonight the men's basketball team brought the championship back home to the Nutmeg State, and I'm certain they are partying down the streets of Hartford, Glastonbury, and of course Storrs. But basketball is not all that makes Connecticut famous.
The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named is not the eternal name
The nameless is the origin of Heaven and Earth
The named is the mother of myriad things
Thus, constantly without desire, one observes its essence
Constantly with desire, one observes its manifestations
These two emerge together but differ in name
The unity is said to be the mystery
Mystery of mysteries, the door to all wonders
From The Tao Te Ching
Poo is certainly a topic that fascinates new parents (and something I've written about before on LWL). It's size, it's shape, it's color, it's frequency. The sheer joy when it comes, the utter sorrow when it doesn't. Regardless of your country, your culture, or your creed, kids certainly open the door (their bottom door, so to speak) to this bountiful world of wonder and mystery.
Livi the Jedi. "May the Force be with you Mommy."
With Livi's new Formula 1 diet however, she has been pooing way less frequently. Formula apparently clogs up the plumbing. But what we lost in poo, we gained in pee. Pee though, is far less impressive. It's often clear, stinky, and let's face it... a bit boring. It doesn't have nearly as many subtle intricacies, nuances, or character even as it's darker cousin poo. But fear not! Like Yellowstone's spouting Old Faithful, Livi's poo builds and erupts with fury once a day, usually in the late evening. You can almost set your watch by it. And with it comes more timeless wonder and mystery: "OMG! How the ____ did you do that Livi?!"
It's official, the 2011 Major League baseball season is underway! Expectations are high this year for our beloved BoSox. All eyes are on the major off-season acquisitions of Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford. If the team stays healthy and their pitching stays consistently strong, we should be playing ball through October! Today the Sox opened with the Rangers in Texas. Livi was really excited about listening to her first of many games with her Dad.
"Dad, can I call you Big Papi from now on?"
It was a back and forth game, but in the end the Sox lost this season opener. There were some impressive signs from AGonz, Youk, and Papi though, all of which are very promising. The best part however, no injuries yet! Sadly, Livi didn't take the loss that well...
"Why?! Why?! How can this be?! It's not fair!!!"
After the game she went to go drown her sorrows in the nearest bottle she could find.
"Oh yeah. Sorrow never tasted so good. Dad, do they serve milk at the ball parks?"
Don't worry little one, it's a long season. Pace yourself.
So to put a few ounces on little Live we've been doing all the recommended protocols: bumped up the formula, been vigilant with our feeding cycles, tracked her poo and pee (color, frequency, similarity to condiments - "Is it more mustard like or more like peanut butter?"). But today I got a new lens for my camera, and we're trying a new approach. They say the camera puts on 15 pounds, so I figure with all the pictures I'll be taking with this new toy, she should be at 150 pounds in a matter of minutes.
Shot with my new Canon 50mm 1.4. A real gem (both the lens and Livi of course)
Livi seems to be taking to it quite nicely. She loves the rich depth of field the lens provides, giving photos of her a soft, soothing texture and overall warm feeling inside (not unlike when she's all swaddled up like a burrito). Mom seems to dig it too.
Mom: "You're the cutest thing ever!" Livi: "No, you are." Mom: "No, really, you are!"
Happy birthday Livi! You are the ripe 'ole age of 1 week! It seems like only yesterday when you were hanging out in Mom's belly. What a difference a week makes...
A mere 7 days ago!
To celebrate this momentous occasion we took a walk on over to see our doctor for a check up. Good news is that Livi hasn't lost anymore weight. Bad news is that she hasn't gained any either. She's remained the same. She's been eating and pooping, so where are all those calories going? Our plan is to start bumping up formula to get her to put on a few more ounces. I thought girls don't become weight conscious until at least middle school! This is a bit early, don't you think Livi!
Life lesson #1 to Livi from her trying-not-to-stress-too-much Dad: You look fabulous! Don't worry about your baby fat, everyone gets it and it looks great on you (and will go away eventually). Society is trying to make you think that girls have to look a certain way and conform to certain stereotypical body images. Forget what Cosmo and Hollywood are trying to feed you and focus more on what your Mom and Dad are trying to feed you! We love you just the way you are. Big is beautiful - it just means that there is more of you to love. Subvert the dominant paradigm!
Family picnic in the backyard this afternoon
Baby burrito. Too bad we can't feed her a few real burritos yet. Someday soon.
So for your one-week birthday Livi, tonight we'll give you a special Similac cocktail (I call it Formula 1), and some extra desserts. Eat, drink, and then repeat.
Well, day has turned to night and turned to day again. Here at LWL world headquarters, our bodies have gotten into the rhythm of the sun, the moon, and of our little girl's bowel movements. I find myself asking a question that has plagued parents for thousands of years: how can something so small produce so much poo? I mean really! This little creature is a poo factory, working round the clock, day and night shifts. To be expected I guess, but it's one of those things that you hear newborn parents talk about and find amusing, but when you're in it yourselves it takes on a whole new meaning (we still find it amusing though - but I'm certain that novelty will wear off rather quickly).
I had a chance to get out for a brief moment today to pick up some lunch - deli sandwiches - something my wife has been craving for 9 months now. Glad to see her getting back to her old self. It was a joyous journey on my bike: sun was finally shining, the air was crisp, the sky was blue, there was a certain giddiness in my ride that I guess is what some call the "new parent glow." So there I am, pedaling on down the street when I came across this billboard...
Something about this sign spoke to me. I'll be taking time today, tomorrow, and pretty much for the rest of my life I imagine.
Also came across this old-school beauty...
Can't wait for Livi to join me on rides around town.
Got two Italian combos, cruised back to crib (and by crib I mean that literally), had a lovely lunch with my lovely wife, both of us basking in our "new parent glow."
So we wanted an easy pregnancy, and for the most part that's what we got. We feel very lucky. We also hoped for a mellow child who can sleep through the night, and we certainly got that and then some! The average lion sleeps up to 18-20 hours a day in most cases. Now I'm no zoologist, but I think our kid is part lion as she is firmly in that range (as I write she is nearby and out like a light). We are all too familiar of the effects of "Tiger Parenting" a la Amy Chua, but I can't help but wonder if Susan and I have created a new category of Lion Parenting?! Instead of pressuring our child to get straight A's, she is getting nothing but Zzzzzzzzzzz.....
Big yawn for a small girl. "Is it nap time yet?"
So we wake her up, and sometimes she's not that happy.
"Hey! That's not cool! I was having such a great dream!"
But most of the time she's been like this...
"Warning: don't wake me up unless it's REALLY important."
Prior to March 23, I - like the rest of the nation - was avidly following the Men's NCAA basketball tournament. And like the rest of the nation, there may have been a few times while at my desk when I quickly glanced at my bracket to see how my picks were doing (I know I'm not alone in here people. You know who you are!). Then we had a kid, our world was turned upside down, and March Madness for us has taken on a whole new meaning. With this in mind, let me share with you the LWL Blog's new take on some old terms:
The Big Dance - rocking back and forth with my wife in the delivery room to help with induction
The Sweet Sixteen - the 16 minutes of sleep we got last night
The Elite Eight - the 8 times Livi got fed in the past 24 hours
The Final Four - the last 4 diapers we have left in our house
After all the drama from from tournament fever, there is always just one first place finisher. However, here at LWL we've been lucky over the past few days to have a bunch of firsts. For example:
Livi's first cruise through the park...
Mom and Livi and our Snap-N-Go in nearby Mosswood Park (note the red racing stripe. The coolest ride in town!)
Livi's first manicure...
"Can you make it snappy? It's almost meal time."
Livi's first attempt at doing The Wave...
This move goes by other names too: The Hold Up, The Raise The Roof, The Look Mom I Can Lift My Arms... to name a few.
