Pondering over parenthood

Parenting is certainly one wild ride (for the parents out there I know I'm preaching to the choir). It's one of those things that until you're in it, you have no idea about anything. Even when you are in it, you still have no idea about anything. No class, book, You Tube clip, or even Iphone app can prepare you for this. As a rookie dad with a measly one month under my belt, I've had a lot of questions and often times there's either few answers or too many answers, and everybody has an opinion. I've also noticed things that I would never have noticed before, I've learned things that I would never have learned before, and I've certainly done a lot of things that I would certainly have never, ever done before. And I continue to be filled with both confusion and awe. Here's a list of a few of the things I've pondered over the past few weeks:

• What is up with all those darn buttons on the baby outfits?! What about using a zipper, or better yet, Velcro! Rarely do I get them all lined up perfectly, but when I do, that is a proud parenting moment indeed.
• If formula milk is suppose to represent fake breast milk, do they get it from fake breasts?
• How can bouncing up and down vigorously in a chair actually soothe a baby? If that were me, I'd be screaming like crazy, "Get me off this thing! I'm going to hurl!" Well, actually, Livi hurls sometimes too.
• What would the world be like if all babies had pants like babies in China? Would the diaper industry just go out of business? Would we spend more on cleaning our streets? Cleaning our homes? Do they make adult versions of these pants? 

Would these work in the US? Not so sure...

• You ever wonder why all barber shops are named with puns? How many times have you seen shops called "A Cut Above," or "Shear Madness," or "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?" Well, that industry is not alone as I've recently noticed that all things breastfeeding related are also PUNishing us. There is My Brest Friend, and The Hooter Hider. What's next, a breast pump called the Boob Tubes? Hey, that doesn't sound that bad! Any readers out there from the pump industry you're too late. I just copyrighted it.
• We all know of the effects of the Chinese-American Tiger mom, but what do Tiger moms in North Korea do? They probably produce something like this:

 

These kids apparently won last season's North Korean Idol.

•  How is it possible that Livi knows how to use a cell phone already?!

"I hate AT&T!!! Can you hear me now?"

Well, that's a small sample from the first month. I'm certain there are more queries and quandaries in the days, months, and years ahead (for both me and Livi).